Long Distance
by templremus1990
Summary: The world is ending. River needs some help. What else is new? Semi-serious oneshot, implied 11/River.


**Long-Distance **

The TARDIS didn't have days. The shift between light and dark was an illusion designed to make life easier for his more human companions, since not knowing when their next meal was supposed to be invariably made them cranky. But if he had to guess, the Doctor would say that the phone call came through at about two o'clock in the morning.

That was just the kind of inconvenient phone call it was.

"Which one am I talking to, then? Pretty-boy, baby-face, or the one with the squint?"

"Squint?" He repeated, faintly.

"_Ah_, baby-face, and _so_ gullible too." Her voice laughed without laughter, in the way that was peculiar to River. He felt his left heart knock against his right, very slightly.

"What's this about?"

"Is this a bad time?" He could hear her moving somewhere, her footsteps jolting the communicator against her ear, so that the words jumped. Reflexively, he shot back:

"_Actually_, I _was_ in the middle of something- busy life, Universe to save, you know how it is-, is next week any g-"

"Only, listen. Need a favour. Say somebody was to get their hands on a Type 18 particle accelerator, and say they used it to blow a fairly large hole in the space-time continuum; maybe, ohh...'bout the size of your head. How long, roughly, would it take for the land around it to boil away?"

The Doctor bit his lip. "Why?" There was a brief silence on the other end of the line.

"...you hear that dullish roaring noise behind me? Sounds like water running out of a bath?"

"Yes."

"...s'not a bath."

"Right."

"Really clever ideas? Sort of, now?"

"Right, yes. Okay."

In the background, a lot of people started shouting. River's voice picked up a notch.

"It's been going about twenty minutes, since Farrah uncovered it. Seemed to respond to her fingerprints, she's travelled in time, maybe some type of background radi-"

"It's programmed to respond to Time Agents and only Time Agents. Once it's been abandoned, it initiates the self-destruct as soon as it's held, and did you say twenty minutes?"

"Yes."

"Has it started doing that high-pitched squealing thing yet?"

From nearby, a piercing shriek rent the air.

"That's bad, isn't it? That's definitely a _bad_ sound."

"Not exactly a good sound, no." He rubbed fretfully at the back of his neck. "Why didn't you call me earlier? Twenty minutes, I can work with, but _two_..."

"We were three miles below the surface of Draxil Minor, long-range comms system is a washout." River dropped to a frenzied whisper. "Look, no hurry, but we've got about ninety seconds before seconds cease to matter..."

"Alright, alright! Uh, turn it over, check the back. What's it say?"

"...'Made in New New York.'"

"No, _below _that."

"It, it's a serial number. Two, forty-seven, acorn, then some - weird ...squiggly thing..."

"That's not a serial number, it's a deactivation code. Second half was stored in the Pertrallan Vaults, single largest computer system of the 62nd century, and if you happen to be in possession of the single brightest time machine in the whole entire _galaxy_..." He reached for the buttons beneath the monitor and started typing, one-handed and fast. "Ohhh-kay, and...numbers-on-the-front, eleven-eight-slash-seventeen-enter, _now_."

Something beeped. "Done."

"Now drop it."

"_What_?"

"Drop it, go on. Just throw it away." He reached out his hand, imagined himself taking hers. "Trust me."

A small gasp from River, a distant scream, and a noise like a cutlery drawer being put through a blender. Then, silence.

"River? River, talk to me." Another pause. "_River..."_

"It's gone. The hole transferred, just...sort of opened up on the ground and _swallowed_ it."

Though she couldn't see him, the Doctor nodded. "Total self-disposal. Rather neat, when you think about it."

River exhaled, shakily. " Neat." She took a few more deep breaths. "Seventeen. Good number. Had my first kiss at seventeen."

Now that the current crisis was passed, the Doctor relaxed, one arm slung over the back of the chair.

"Oh. Was I good?"

A snorting half-laugh. "You smug git."

The Doctor swallowed, pressing his fist to his mouth. "When are you, River?"

"Right now? New Grecian Empire, 5806. We've just been excavating the ruins outside Paedagil, still got another two-thirds buried deep. But- you were right, or will be. It's _magnificent_."

Everything to say, and only a single lifespan in which to say it. Linear or not, time could be cruel. The Doctor opened his mouth.

"I-"

But the next moment someone sounded a siren, and River cut him off. She was one of the very few people who could _do _that.

"...Yeah. Listen. Going to have to call you back. Thank you. Thank you _so _much. And... drive safe now, alright sweetie?" She blew a kiss to him down the communicator. It seemed to brush against his ear.

Then the line went dead.


End file.
